Today Is Thursday! Smile!

I’m having one of those weeks where you decide to become totally eco-friendly. I think everyone has these weeks, but lately I’ve been getting them more and more often. Probably a result from writing my biology final on global climate change, and how agriculture and modern food is affecting it. Which you’d be surprised, its a lot more than you think. Anyways I thought I would reduce my impact on the Earth by starting a garden. Way easier than it sounds, apparently its more eco friendly if you build your own garden bed. So I was like yeah I can do that. Problem is, I have zero experience with power tools and building stuff. But none the less my friend Holly and I attempted. Three hours in we still hadn’t accomplished anything but drawing lines on the wood so we ended up calling my neighbor who takes wood shop. Did I mention that my neighbor is my ex-boyfriend and that we dated for nine months and only broke up a couple months ago? He was the douche canoe that went for the slutty girl after we broke up. Anyways he showed up all pissed off but ended up making the whole thing pretty much by himself, and then even more awkwardly he stayed after he finished and just kind of sat there for like an hour. The whole time it was awkward but then he finally left and I was like yay now I don’t have to build it! Anyways I needed a 4H project this year so I started another blog about it ( www.gardeningwithmariah.wordpress.com ) so you can ch-ch-check it out if you so desire!

Also I just saw this and its freaking hilarious. It will probably make your day, just be warned.

Insert Catchy Title Here

At some point or another everyone has a time when they decide to take on to many challenges and get overwhelmed. I will honestly say I hit that point two days ago and it isn’t going to get better for another two weeks at least. Why so busy you ask? Well one day I was feeling like a try hard and said hey why don’t I take nine classes this year when my day only consists of seven periods. But I was like I can totally do it and it will look great on a college application, so I went ahead and enrolled in Health Sciences and French 2 online. Online because my small school offers zero diversity in classes and through digital academy is the only way to take them. Anyways the digital academy school year ends two weeks earlier than the regular school year, and because I have seven other classes I have to do finals and end of the year work on my own time. But the problem is, I have no time to do it!

So while working a few nights ago I get this thought “What if I just stay up really late working on it every night and get by with less sleep?” And at the time I was all yeah that would totally work. So I worked until two and then slept until six and I woke up thinking that wasn’t so bad. And then sometime around eleven o’clock I crashed.I mean crashed hard core, it was the did I just get hit by a truck feeling? That was what I had. Anyways I made it through the day and then did the same thing the next two nights. Seriously not getting enough sleep leads to bad choices. Never once did it occur to me, not to do it! Anyways I’m somehow barley awake now and typing this as I look back and realize how dumb that was to do. So to catch up on sleep I’m giving myself the day off tomorrow. Partly because I’m tired, and also because I’m in much need of a movie date with my madre to see What To Expect When You’re Expecting, oh and of course some buffalo wild wings! On a completely unrelated note, most girls wouldn’t be caught dead at buffalo wild wings, but I say don’t judge before you’ve been there. I love me some wings, and fried pickles. I’d never heard of fried pickles before I went there and let me tell you, they are amazing! Especially with ranch.

Okay so I’m sitting here in a daze of tiredness and there is nothing on TV, besides the House series finale which I refuse to watch because somehow I have it in my head that if I don’t watch then it won’t end, so I am now watching Duck Dynasty. It is possibly the dumbest show ever, but boy does it remind me of certain hilly billy simple minded boys in our school. Thats Montana for you though. Anyways its a family of hilly billys who ended up making a bunch of money selling duck calls. Its the modern day beverly hill billy but its actually happened. For example in the short time I have watched one of the guys finds out his daughter has a boyfriend and decides to take him out and test him. Oh and her boyfriend is fourteen. So he decides its fit to take the kid out snake hunting with large guns (yes apparently in some places it is indeed legal to shoot snakes) and scares the shit out of him. Its really sad but really funny that some people are still so out there in this day and age.

On another tangent I don’t know if you have watched this video but it is honestly adorable so you can click here to watch it, unless I managed to embed it right below which isn’t likely….

Step-by-step

As most of you know by now, I run track! And day one of the district meet has come to an end and thank goodness I made it in the 400. For those of you who haven’t ever ran track before a 400 is an entire lap around the track at a full sprint. Its the kind of race that crazy people run, you know those people who you see running along side the road in pouring rain at five in the morning. Yeah those kinds of people, but see I am not one of those people, which is why I’m so dang proud right now! Okay I admit I didn’t get first, I got fourth but still and I PR’d by five seconds so no complaints.

I still don’t think y’all get the picture so I’m going to take you step by step through it

Starting: You get your lane number and stand there, if you’re lucky you get lane 4 or 5, and watch everyone else get their blocks ready. Once again you think you should probably learn how to use those in practice but you never will. While thats going on you feel like you’re going to pee yourself because you are so nervous. You imagine all the pain at the end and want to quit. You take one last puff of your inhaler and then the starter guy is all “on your mark get set” and then he fires that gun that you always wonder is real or not.

And you’re off: The first 150m aren’t bad at all and your all I can totally do this, and then the stagger evens out and you’re like shit I need to step it up. So you push yourself a little more and pass a couple girls and your like I’m such a beast.

Second corner: You’re in the middle of the pack up until now and its time to make your move. You are out of breath but it could be worse so you push yourself and pass a lot of people and then your off to the last hundred

Finishing: This part of the race is a bitch. There is not a thing in the world worse than the last hundred of a four hundred. I have asthma so but this time I’m wheezing and thinking death would be better. But you got to the front and now you have to hold on to your spot so you can’t slow down. But you are so freaking tired it feels like running through glue. No literally, your legs are lead and your arms are barely moving. You attempt to distract yourself which isn’t easy so you think of how awful your face looks. The truth is nobody takes good pictures after running and while running, your face looks retarded. Its true, just ask any owner of last years yearbook which had a half page picture of me looking retarded while finishing a 400 race. Anyways by the time you get back to thinking about the race you have 50m left and yo know you are so so close to being down but you can’t push yourself any more and you know if anyone is right behind you you’re screwed because you can’t physically push yourself any more. But somehow you do and you think of how much you’ve been through and how you deserve to win this freaking race. You dig deep and think about shit you’ve gone through and somehow finish.

After: After you stagger across the line, you have asthma so your friend sprints your inhaler out to you before you die and you take a few puffs and somehow manage to get off the track. This is where it gets blurry. You are extremely dizzy from the lack of oxygen and inhaler stuff. You fall onto the grass and just lay there shaking and sometime your coach comes up and stretches your legs for you because they are cramping up.You don’t notice them leave and eventually you start to get your breath back. In this point you stand up and your friends tell you how great you did, which is fine but you have to throw up. You literally run yourself sick. So you slowly make your way to the locker room where you proceed to throw up. Then you walk back out and just sit on the grass for about an hour before you start feeling normal again. Oh and you learn that you just ran it in 63 seconds which is a ballin time. 400m in 63 seconds. Bragging rights earned.

Something to Think About

Can you guys believe summer is almost here? It honestly seems like it can’t be that time of year yet. Thank goodness it is though! Maybe its living somewhere that has snow for nine months out of the year, but there is absolutely nothing better than laying on the beach (we have lakes, not oceans here but its still a beach) and getting nice and tan. And of course I couldn’t forget to mention the amazingly cute guys that seem to suddenly appear after June 8th. Ah just thinking of it I can practically imagine jet skiing, boating, and  going off the rope swing. Summer is so my season.

But with the excitement of summer, comes everyone trying to slim down before they hit the beach. So here is what I have to say. A few days ago in PE class we had our second fitness gram of the year, there is one in the fall and one in the spring and over that time we are supposed to improve. Your height and weight gets recorded and you have to run a bunch, do sit ups, and attempt to do push ups (I haven’t got past three yet). Anyways after being weighed the teacher, who is also my track coach informed me that since the last recorded time I have gained seven pounds. Of course he then went on to tell me not to worry that most of that was probably muscle weight because that weight was pre-sports season. But at the same time he nagged me about eating healthier and maybe spend a little more time in the weight room after practice. That kind of ruined my week, until I started thinking about it. Sure every girl at one point or another is going to feel self-conscious and want to change something about themselves, I do this every day multiple times. And sure we are going to change ourselves a little to fit our self-image, and thats fine. But do not under any circumstance change yourself for someone else. Doing so will not make you feel any better. As soon as you reach that goal you are just going to have another one, it is an endless track of hate. Love yourself for who you are, way way way easier said than done. Trust me I know, its so easy to think “oh if only this was different” but you wouldn’t be so you if you changed.

I guess this was such a big deal to me because I used to have an eating disorder and only really got over it a year ago. I was so sure that being skinny would make my life better. If I could just get down five more pounds I’d be fine and I’d stop. And then I’d get down and think well another couple would really be great. I thought like that until I was 109 pounds at 5’11 and only eating one small meal a day. It wasn’t until one day the counsler called me into her office and told me about her past eating disorder and how it almost ruined her life. It didn’t entirely stop that day but I was able to see what I was doing to myself and what would happen if I kept on that road. Within a month I was close to eating regularly again. Now it all seems to silly that I would ever allow myself to do that. So what I’m getting at here is it might be fine to lose a few pounds before hitting the beach, but don’t over do it. Its so not worth it!

Anyways, that got kind of serious so on a unrelated note….. here is a video made at lunch today of my friends and I re-making the car scene from Night at the Roxbury. Go with it, we have nothing better to do with our lunch time. (p.s. I’m the one in the middle). Oh and if you haven’t watched the original you should first, so its posted below as well! Also no judgement, this was the day after a track meet which means a shit day. Or a day where all of your friends and you agree to look like shit and not put any effort into your look and hope no one notices because theres so many of you that look bad!

http://youtu.be/N5lKoGH76JQ    In the movie they actually play what is love and dance to it though…..

and here is our take on it…

Enjoy.

 

Quick Update

Thanks for all the support last week, I got lots of reassuring comments and emails and every one of them helped. I wouldn’t say things have totally turned around, but at least my best friend is back from Mexico so that helps a lot. Instead of moping around for another week I decided to get out and make the most of the remaining weeks of school, (32 days, but who’s counting?). So for starters on Monday during lunch we went and jumped in the lake and made it back sopping wet just in time. Oh and if you don’t know I live in a town that has tons of lakes by it, it’s named after a lake for goodness sake. I would tell you all the name but its so small and seeing as I’m the only Mariah that lives in the entire town you could totally stalk me, and thats weird. So anywho that was fun and cold! But it was unusually warm for April here so after school and blah track we went and laid on the beach and attempted to get a tan. Or really I did because she is already tan from stupid Mexico! And on Tuesday after school some of my friends drove in from another town close by and we went to a rope swing. Oh you’ve never heard of a rope swing, thats entirely normal! But here in ho-dunk Montana we have to make do with what we have. And we have lakes. So every year some crazy person finds a tall tree on a hill next to one of the lakes and ties a rope there and makes a rope swing. And then we get to spend all summer swinging off it and into the lake. Its more fun than it sounds, and some how word gets out and everyone knows about it by the end of summer so it’s a great way to meet new people. By new people I mean totally hot guys whose families have summer homes here and are way easy to have a summer fling with. But the point here is, there was still ice on the lake and we went off the rope swing, in the pouring rain. It. Was. Awesome. Except for freezing that is, the moment you hit the water you were paralyzed because it was so freaking cold. But so worth the bragging rights that came with it! Today it got nice and warm again so during lunch a couple of friends and I (yes I said a couple, because some people finally decided to over look the scandal of last week) went out to eat on the pole vault mat on the football field. When we got there the top was covered in water but it was warm from the sunshine so of course we were like slip-n-slide! I mean why not, we aren’t trying to impress anyone and it looked fun. So we spent the remainder of lunch sliding across the giant mat and it was great. Of course we were soaked for the rest of the day but I will never forget it.

So to say it simply, I’ve had a lot of fun this week. Minus a couple of blow outs with old so called friends, but clearly they were never friends if they allowed that to happen to our relationship. Its gotta be the sunshine! I need sunshine like I need air and without it I get a little grumpy and depressed as you can tell by my last post. But with summer on the way things can only get better from here.(:

Tired in a Way Sleep Can’t Fix

This post won’t be funny, this post will purely be me letting some feelings out. Currently as I type this, I’m holding back tears this past week has given me. Long story short, over spring break while I was gone a lot of stuff went down. Including my so called boyfriend bragging to the rest of the guys locker room about things that I’d done with him and pictures I’d sent him, and none of his statements were true. But none the less it didn’t stop the rumors from spreading and the entire school thinking I was a major slut. And upon breaking up with him my best friend since forever has decided that she no longer wants to remain friends with me because she doesn’t like my other best friend. Oh and my other best friend is still on vacation in Mexico. So thats been my week, oh right and track meets every other day just to remind me how bad I suck at it.

I’m having myself a pity party right now and if you don’t feel like attending then don’t bother reading the rest of the post.

To be honest my life has changed so much in the past week, and I have felt so alone. I’ve had no one to talk to what so ever and I’m forced to spend seven hours a day in a building with people who are judging me and whispering about me behind my back, but just loudly enough for me to hear. So you want to know what I’ve learned this past week?

1. For starters that music never fails. Ever. And its easy to put headphones in and imagine you are somewhere completely different.

2. When your best friend decides to hate you, you have nowhere left to eat lunch. So you can eat in your car and get stared at by people coming and going from the student parking lot, or you can hide in the storage room by the gym and eat lunch. Storage room by the gym you ask? Well its where all the old desks and gym mats and what not goes and its usual unlocked and empty. Scratch that, I’ve never seen anyone else in there. Which is why I’m now there everyday at lunch. Actually I like it, its always just the right temperature and its quite and the windows let in lots of sun light.

3. Long distance calls to your best friend in Mexico are expensive and will run up your phone bill.

4. At a certain break you stop trying to defend yourself and just let others talk about you. You are practically mute during the day because you have nothing to say to anyone, and no one has anything nice to say to you.

5. You feel utterly alone.

6. Your track coach hears of the rumors and calls you in for a meeting. There he asks you if they are true or not and when you reply no he doesn’t believe you. Just. Like. Everyone. Else. He then pulls you from the only event you are good at which is the 4×4 relay and tells you that he can’t have lose cannons on a team thats bound to go to state. Instead he puts you into more jumping events which you suck at. He then proceeds to tell you that if you spent half the time working on track rather than “messing around” you would be way better.

7. Oh yeah I forgot. What starts as one rumor spreads into twenty. And before you know it there are hundreds going around. According to rumors I’ve heard, and theres oh so many more that I haven’t, I do drugs during my study hall everyday in the back of the library. I “hook up” with various guys during lunch. I cut myself because I’m depressed. I steal make-up in the locker room. The list goes on and on and on. And I don’t do any of those things, nor will I ever.

8. Losing yourself in books help. I suggest just picking the biggest book you can find and reading it. Thats what I do anyways. unfortunately this has resulted in a permanent headache. Apparently somewhere in your day you need sleep. Staying awake reading all night doesn’t work after a couple days.

9. You learn how immature people really are. And while you try to put yourself above the situation and try to appear untouched by it, its hard. Its so hard.

 

I could list more, but I’m to tired. Tired of everything.

 

ON a completely not depressed note for some reason views have sky rocketed the past couple weeks? Hmm

Spring Break!

*disclaimer I wrote this over spring break but never had a chance to post it, never the less enjoy*

So every year over spring break my lovely grandmother and I take a trip out to Washington to visit my aunts and uncles and cousins. Which involves me driving most of the way while we jam to 1950s music and listen to Grandma talk about her good old days. It’s a two day drive though so halfway through we spend the night somewhere. And every year without fail I forget that my dear sweet old Gramdma snores like a logger with a cold. She also likes the heat on 78 all night. Currently I’m in my bed that I’ve fashioned in the bathtub because after three hours of trying I faced the fact that I could not sleep in the same room as her.  As a side note here are some things I love about Washington
1. I can wear my berkenstalks and not feel judged because let’s face it everyone living in WA is a hippie of sorts.
2. The almost constant rain means no one here is tan, so I dont feel super white
3. The people are uber interesting and nice. For instance today while stopping to get gas, the guy across from me told me all about his new Eco friendly clothing company that was using radish die as a coloring, AND also had llama or alpaca wool sweaters. And that he was based out of his brothers girlfriends  friends basement.
4. Once again no one judges you! You feel like going to a morning yoga class? Cool go ahead and wear that outfit for the rest of the day. Don’t feel like doing your hair? Fine don’t or throw on mariners cap and call it good.
5. No matter where you are, there are always at least two coffee shops (At least one of them is a starbucks) within two miles of you.
6. No one questions you when you announce you are going to get coffee at eight o’clock at night.
7. Fred Meyers. Like Costco but better and bigger.
8. I’ll admit to this one being lame right now, bbuuutt I always kinda feel like I’m in one of the Twilight movies. And I half way except to see Robert Pattinson and Taylor Laughtner in some epic battle over Bella every time I look outside. Unfortunately this has not yet happened but I have high hopes and by no means will give up now.
9. The humidity makes my hair tolerable and with enough hair spray to put a considerable dent in the ozone, my hair looks like it has volume.

10. Forever 21.

—-

Today in Costco I had a moment. I had a long ass day touring colleges all over WA (thinking puget sound university is the one) and was tried and cranky. Oh and PMS-ing. So I was going in to the verizon there because they are way less crowded than the regular stores, to get an iPhone. And apparently I wasn’t aware that Costco doesn’t carry apple products so they didn’t have the phone. Of course I was like are you fucking kidding me? And no, no they were not. So then I sulked around Costco while my aunt finished her shopping. So in the car ride back my aunt was all you need to stop with the holocaust eyes. What does that even mean?? Apparently I had been staring off and my eyes were “empty, big, and soulless” and then she related them to the eyes of Jews in concentration camps in a documentary she’d watched the week before. Thats does wonders for my self esteem. (No worries I was able to get my wonderful iphone 4s two days later)